When are you considered to be cheating or have cheated in a relationship?

When I was a student I had a boyfriend who wanted us to get married. It was pretty much my first relationship so obviously I wasn’t ready to be married, but I wasn’t ready also to go into a relationship with a ‘school boyfriend’ as I felt that would be a lot of work and will ultimately distract me from school. Not like I was such a serious student but I just didn’t want everyone in school knowing who my boyfriend was or knowing my business. I was also straight out of a Missionary high school so I craved the male attention as I seemed to be the only one who didn’t have guys all over her. I really needed that experience, I needed to chat and be in close proximity to guys and feel like a ‘babe’.

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My boyfriend lived out of town which afforded me the time to be friends with other guys. Some of them wanted to date me while others wanted just a piece of me. I wasn’t really bothered because I made sure I told them I was in a relationship, so I wasn’t concerned if they choose to continue coming around. That should be enough right? I also didn’t think it was right to discourage them because I enjoyed the attention and really needed friends as a new student in a new school.

My boyfriend visited every other month and I always had such a good time. It wasn’t long before he got me a mobile phone so I could stay in touch as he was travelling abroad. He was away for a few months and we often talked on the phone, though he complained that my phone was always busy and it was difficult to reach me sometimes. He returned from his trip and visited me in school. My phone would often ring off the hook, I picked the phone sometimes and ignored other times. He was concerned about my numerous phone calls and asked on several occasion who was calling, to which I would call a male name and casually dismiss it by saying he is a class mate or just a friend or an admirer. He always told me a man and woman can’t really be friends but that was ridiculous I thought, he was ‘old school’.

One day I had one of my male ‘friends’ in my room, on my bed watching TV and my boyfriend visited and met him and blew a fuse! LOL… I didn’t get why he would do that, what was that for? Was I cheating? Some may argue I was but I think it’s contentious. When had it become cheating to talk to admirers on the phone? Let’s face it, was I really cheating?